Family Radio founder Harold Camping revealed today that his flawed May 21 Doomsday prediction was really an estimate of when the Oprah Winfrey Show would end. "I was only off by a few days," said Camping, "Yeah, a lot of people thought I was referring to the apocalypse, but that's how I see life without Oprah. So what if I was a few days off. I'm 89 years old. I'm happy I can still piss in a toilet." http://www.theendive.com/html/article812.html

President Barack Obama addressed a joint session of Parliament today and was largely ignored by a packed room full of bored British lawmakers. "He looked very charismatic," said British Prime Minister David Cameron, "But we just had no interest in listening to a damn thing he said. Maybe that rock star-style speechmaking works on Americans, but if you don't drone on in a most droll manner, we just tune you out." http://www.theendive.com/html/article813.html

Faced with desertion by a majority of his troops and watching power slip from his grasp, Muammar Qaddafi decided to unleash his secret weapon today – 5,000 terracotta soldiers. The surprising tactic hasn't been used since 210 BC, when Qin Shi Huan, first Emporer of China, constructed such an army to successfully defend his mummified corpse. http://www.theendive.com/html/article814.html

Newsweek and its new editor Tina Brown were blasted by critics this week after publishing a computer-generated photo showing Princess Diana partying with Pippa Middleton, Biggie Smalls and Grand Moff Tarkin. http://www.theendive.com/html/article822.html

Libyan rebels launched a bold panty raid on Muammar Gadhafi's Tripoli compound, emerging with armloads of captured underwear and a treasure trove of photos and video. "The real moment of victory is when Gadhafi's underpants are captured and flown on the main flagpole in Tripoli," said Mustafa Abdul Jalil, chairman of the National Transitional Council, at a press conference. More at The Endive: http://www.theendive.com/html/article835.html

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin officially declared his candidacy for Lord today. The announcement follows a statement by Russian President Dimitry Medvedev that he would not seek an additional term if it meant opposing Putin. "I officially declare, that by this time next year, I shall be LORD PUTIN!" said Putin is a Moscow press conference this morning, "There is no Lord other than Putin and Putin is the way to salvation. All hail Putin!" http://www.theendive.com/html/article819.ht

It's been described as "iconic" or the "photo of the century." It turns out that the famous "Situation Room" photo might not be what people think it is. Sources revealed today that the photo was heavily edited by the White House press corps so that we would not know exactly what Obama and crew were gawking at. It wasn't the raid on bin Laden's compound. It was a video of Leonard Nimoy singing "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins." http://www.theendive.com/html/article808.html

It's been a busy week for news – almost more than The Endive is equipped to cover. Because of these extenuating circumstances, The Endive presents its first ever News Roundup: A quick look at all the stories of the week following the successful liquidation and prompt submersion of Osama bin Laden. http://www.theendive.com/html/article807.html

A massive sell-off of clothing was triggered today when S&P decided to downgrade The Gap's credit rating. The price of pants plunged forty percent as desperate people attempted to sell them at a furious pace. President Obama tried to allay fears by addressing the American people today, but it did little too help when he entered the White House press room wearing no pants. Read more: http://www.theendive.com/html/article832.html

RNC Chairman Reince Priebus announced today that the party was looking for contestants in a reality show that would decide the GOP presidential frontrunners for 2012. The announcement comes as popular contenders Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee indicated they would not pursue the office, leaving Mitt Romney and Ron Paul as the only well-known candidates. http://www.theendive.com/html/article810.html

Smithsonian Pulls Video of Ant-Covered Jesus But Leaves Images of Naked Brothers Kissing, Genitalia, Men in Chains, and Ellen DeGeneres Grabbing Her Breasts

http://www.sos.ca.gov/elections/ror/ror-pages/15day-gen-10/h<wbr>&shy;ist-reg-stats.pdf<br><br>http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/news/top_three/article_00<wbr>&shy;27a18e-e49...

Marc A. Thiessen, author of Courting Disaster, refused to be cowed by two of the left's agitprop mouthpieces, and fired back with devastating effectiveness.

Just listening to the left's twisted mental evolutions is torturous enough, but this video (and part 2) is worth your time. Observe the so-called intellectual left obscure facts by employing a "parade of credentials" and barging back to the talking points when out on a limb. Joseph Goebbels, may he burn in Hell, might be proud of Christiane Amanpour.

Human Events ran an editorial on this televised debate. See it at: http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=35280

(YouTube video courtesy of Mr. Thiessen's "courtingdisasterbook" channel)